英文笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯
幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說(shuō)笑話，還要懂得他人說(shuō)的笑話，來(lái)測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!
英文笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯一：左耳朵進(jìn)右耳朵出
I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?” “沒(méi)有，老師。可是你昨天說(shuō)你告訴我的知識(shí)都是一個(gè)耳朵里進(jìn)，一個(gè)耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
英文笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯二：I didn't know that I was so far back already
A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?” “I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered. “Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.” The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”
第一次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，一場(chǎng)大戰(zhàn)役正在進(jìn)行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過(guò)了一個(gè)小時(shí)后，一個(gè)士兵認(rèn)定戰(zhàn)斗對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)變得太危險(xiǎn)了，所以他離開(kāi)前線開(kāi)始逃離戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)。步行了一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)軍官向他走過(guò)來(lái)。那軍官叫住他說(shuō)：“你要到哪兒去?” “長(zhǎng)官，我正盡可能遠(yuǎn)地躲開(kāi)我們身后正在進(jìn)行的戰(zhàn)役，”士兵回答說(shuō)。 “你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎?”軍官生氣地對(duì)他說(shuō)：“我是你的指揮官。” 那士兵聽(tīng)到此話感到非常驚訝，說(shuō)：“天哪，我想不到我已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠(yuǎn)了!”
英文笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯三：絕配
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son."Dad, “says the son, there’s something I’ve got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"
"Son”, the father replies, I painted the vase."
一個(gè)富有的主婦很是驕傲因?yàn)樗詹亓艘患浅Ｓ袃r(jià)值的古董花瓶，于是她決定把臥室粉刷成與花瓶同樣的顏色。許多油漆匠都試圖盡力與花瓶的顏色匹配，但是沒(méi)有任何人能做得 讓那古怪的`女人滿意的。
一個(gè)油漆匠很自信他能做到，最終他成功了。那個(gè)主婦很滿意，于是這個(gè)油漆匠也變得很出名。
多年以后，油漆匠要退休了，他把自己的生意交給兒子去經(jīng)營(yíng)。“爸爸”兒子問(wèn)“我還有些事情想知道，你怎么能把墻粉刷得和花瓶的顏色那么相配?”“兒子”爸爸回答到“我只不過(guò)是把花瓶刷了。”
英文笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯四：Who was the first man?
誰(shuí)是第一個(gè)男人
A teacher said to her class:
Who was the first man?
George Washington, a little boy shouted promptly.
How do you make out that George Washington was the first man? asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
Because, said the little boy, he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
Well, said the teacher to him, who do you think was the first man?
I don't know what his name was, said the larger boy, but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.
有個(gè)老師問(wèn)班上的學(xué)生：
誰(shuí)是第一個(gè)男人?
喬治·華盛頓，一個(gè)小男孩當(dāng)即叫道。
你怎么知道喬治·華盛頓是第一個(gè)男人呢?老師問(wèn)道，寬容地微笑著。
小男孩說(shuō)：因?yàn)樗菓?zhàn)時(shí)第一，和時(shí)第一，國(guó)人心中第一。
這時(shí)一個(gè)大點(diǎn)兒的男孩舉起手來(lái)。
那么，老師對(duì)他說(shuō)，你認(rèn)為誰(shuí)是第一個(gè)男人呢?
我不知道他的名字，大點(diǎn)兒的男孩說(shuō)，但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。因?yàn)闅v史書(shū)上說(shuō)，喬治·華盛頓娶了一個(gè)寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有一個(gè)男人。
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