諧音英語(yǔ)笑話笑破你的肚子

時(shí)間：2024-03-19 09:38:52 志升英語(yǔ)笑話

諧音英語(yǔ)笑話大全笑破你的肚子

　　在日常學(xué)習(xí)、工作和生活中，大家對(duì)諧音英語(yǔ)都再熟悉不過了吧，下面是小編為大家整理的諧音英語(yǔ)笑話大全笑破你的肚子，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。

諧音英語(yǔ)笑話大全笑破你的肚子

　　You don’t have to pay for lightning

　　Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?

　　Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning.

　　閃電不用付錢

　　老師：誰(shuí)能告訴我閃電與電的區(qū)別?

　　學(xué)生：閃電不用付錢。

　　H o n e s t y

　　A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...

　　Man：Whats the problem，officer?

　　Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.

　　Man：No，sir，I was going 65.

　　Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

　　Officer：I m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.

　　Man：Broken taillight?I didnt know about a broken taillight。

　　Wife：Oh Harry，youve known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)

　　Officer：I m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

　　Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

　　Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.

　　Man：Shut your dang mouth。

　　Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?

　　Wife：No，only when hes drunk.

　　誠(chéng) 實(shí)

　　警官讓一位駕車的男士停下車。隨后出現(xiàn)如下的對(duì)話：

　　男士：警官，有什么問題?

　　警官：你在限速55英里的地段開到至少75英里。

　　男士：不，長(zhǎng)官，是65英里。

　　妻子：啊，哈里，你剛才開到80英里。(男士瞪了妻子一眼。)

　　警官：我還要給你張罰單，你的尾燈碎了。

　　男士：尾燈碎了?你不說(shuō)，我還真不知道尾燈碎了。

　　妻子：哦，哈里，幾個(gè)星期以前你就知道了。(男士又惡狠狠地瞪了她一眼。)

　　警官：我還要給你張傳票，你沒系安全帶。

　　男士：噢，你朝我車走過來(lái)的時(shí)候我才解開的。

　　妻子：啊，哈里，你從來(lái)都不系安全帶。

　　男士：閉上你的臭嘴。

　　警官：(轉(zhuǎn)向女士)夫人，你丈夫總是這樣跟你說(shuō)話嗎?

　　妻子：不，只有當(dāng)他醉了的時(shí)候。

　　He must have a computer

　　A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. “Do you know, ”she said to him one day, “that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ”The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, “Wow. He must have a computer.”

　　他一定有臺(tái)電腦

　　一位母親給她5歲的兒子講上帝�！澳阒绬�, ”有一天她對(duì)他說(shuō), “無(wú)論一個(gè)人在哪里, 在干什么事情, 上帝都知道�！毙∧泻⒈牬罅搜劬粗麐寢屨f(shuō), “哇。那他一定有一臺(tái)電腦�！�

　　Nice Try

　　My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who’s a hair stylist, said, “If you let us off with a warning, I’ll give you a free haircut for a year. ”

　　The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.

　　by Peter Orphanos

　　嘗試

　　我和妻子被警察攔住了，他給我們開一個(gè)超速的罰款單。我的妻子是一個(gè)發(fā)型設(shè)計(jì)師，于是她就對(duì)警察說(shuō)，“如果你讓我們免于警告，我就為你免費(fèi)理發(fā)一年。”

　　警察脫下他的帽子——他是一個(gè)光頭。

　　Who is Disgusting

　　First：“My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.”

　　Second：“It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?”

　　First：“No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.”

　　誰(shuí)可惡

　　甲：“我家新搬來(lái)的鄰居好可惡，竟然深更半夜跑來(lái)猛按我家的門鈴�！�

　　乙：“的確可惡。你有沒有報(bào)警?”